If I had a dollar for the amount of times I hear these things being single ….
- so are you online dating?
- When you stop looking that’s when it happens
- You have to give people a chance
- You are to picky
- Maybe change what your looking for
- You actually have to go on dates
- It’ll happen when it’s meant to
- That’s why your single
- I’m sure there’s lots of guys like that where you are
- Why haven’t you found anyone
If I had a dollar … let me tell you !
Look I understand that people in our lives just want to see us happy, connected and embraced in LOVE.
I get all of this.
But for the amount of times I hear all of these things – I wish I heard more people who talk about the feelings they got when they met the person they are with. I wish I heard more stories about how people met. I wish they opened up about that initial meeting or first few months and how exciting it was.
Why you may ask?
Well because that’s what actually gets me excited about manifesting the relationship I want into my life.
Those are the stories that give me the feels and actually encourage me to want to be in a relationship.
You see…. I wanted nothing to do with relationships for the longest time. While all my friends were in long term relationships – I was out and about travelling and exploring new places. And at times it absolutely disgusted me how much my friends just wanted to be with their boyfriends. I didn’t understand why their BFs always needed to come or why they would rather go to dinner with them, instead of a girls night. ( WHAT A CONCEPT- dinner with their boyfriends… I know right)
All of this just pushed me further and further away. I also listened and was there for my friends when something would happen in their relationship. I did my best to be a solid friend and make sure I was always there for them in times of crisis. CUE THE ICE CREAM and sappy movies.
But through all of this I kept telling myself, NO WAY MAN – I’m not getting one of those ever … way to much work and I am not letting me heart break EVER AGAIN !
But then through the years something happened.
After travelling and actually getting to understand and truly discover who I was – something inside of my being switched. I felt lighter. I felt more free. And I felt like me.
A me who wanted to have a connection with another human on a deep romantic level.
It was almost like my heart was fully healed from the past and it was ready to let someone in again.
That was almost 3 years ago now.
Still no relationship.
Which has lead me to this blog.
Ya see, now I’m super open and honest about wanting a true relationship. But from the outside perspective a lot of the people in my life don’t think I’m serious because I don’t take the action required for bringing the relationship I want into my life OR to them I come up with lots of ‘excuses’ to why so and so isn’t what I’m looking for.
Well I’m here to clear the air and agree to disagree. YES there is truth to their side. And YES you do have to put yourself in situations to attract this – BUT here’s my single gal view on trying to call in a conscious relationship.
EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHOSE SINGLE Is single for a reason – YES
Wether it’s because they chose it or because it simply isn’t their time- there is a reason behind it.
You have to be ready and willing to take on the energy of a relationship. You have to be ready and willing to look at your own shit in relationships. You have to be ready and open to give and receive that kind of love.
And if you aren’t then NO it’s not the right time and you are choosing to be single.
Which BTW is 100% acceptable and no one can do anything to force you. You’ll know your ready when your ready.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT and don’t settle for anything but.
Okay so this one isn’t going to be loved by everyone HOWEVER I’m just going to bluntly put it out there for people who feel the same or similar as me.
I truly believe that deep down inside of us we know exactly what we want. We know how we want to feel (especially after heartbreak) and we know how we want to be treated.
For me I didn’t have to be in a ton of relationships to figure this out and I didn’t have to go on a million dates either.
There’s this beautiful thing called intuition inside of us all and it’s a great map to finding someone you vibe well with.
NOW Ive worked super hard to develop and trust this over the years but one thing I know for sure is that our intuition leads us to the people,places and things that we are needing in our lives.
So even if intuitively you are pulled toward someone but it doesn’t work out in the long term THATS WHAT WAS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN on your journey. It gets you closer to knowing what you want and don’t want for the relationship you are calling in.
It puts you into a place of understanding your feelings and why you won’t settle for less than what you want.
ENERGY DOESNT LIE and energetic connections are real life things!
Believe it or not that saying “love at first sight” actually has some truth behind it.
Before you roll your eyes at this … here’s why.
Like with intuition- the energy that we feel pulled toward in people is also telling us something.
I have had the privledge of experiencing this many times.
I can remember the exact moments and the feeling that came with it when I met someone whom I knew was about to change my life. I can remember the exact moments of meeting these people I was energetically pulled toward and knew deep down there was something about them I was attracted to.
Energy doesn’t lie. It can’t and it never will.
I trust myself enough to know that when I meet someone I feel a connection with, I’ll know what to do.
As a single 27 year old out here in a big city just tryna find someone I click with, get to know a little more and HOPEFULLY have a relationship with …. I GET IT!
I understand the push and the pressure from society. But I also understand the inner battles that happen when you want something so bad and IT JUST ISNT COMING.
When we hear all of these comments it kind of assumes that we as single people are some how lacking in areas of our life.
But maybe really we are learning how to fill ourselves up so that when the relationship of our dreams comes through, we have the full capacity to do the work with that person and love like never before.
Maybe we’re learning how to love ourselves first.
From one single gal to all you others singles out there…
Remember you are worth all of what your asking for. Our time will come. TIMING IS EVERYTHING. And if you’re not ready ITS OK! You will be one day.
Use the tools to find this person that are comfortable to you -not just because society or other people say that’s what you should be doing.
YOU KNOW exactly what you want deep down and what’s best for YOU.
Listen to your feelings.
Trust your intuitive hits.
Go your own way.
Follow your path.
When you know you know