My name is Courtney.
I have big emotions.
I’m incredibly empathic.
I have had some really dark days.
I have had some really bright and beautiful days.
My heart is big and it feels everything intensely.
I tend to live in my head and sometimes overthink to a point of exhaustion.
I have felt loneliness like no other- even in a room full of people.
I have cried for days and weeks at a time.
I’ve felt my heart break multiple times.
I’ve been really sad.
I still get really sad.
My heart has raced so fast it’s hard to breathe. It’s made the world feel like it’s spinning. It’s raced so fast that I’ve endured panic attacks. It’s what I imagine a Volcano to be like. The anxiety takes over and has to be released. I have no control.
My emotions are really big.
Why am I sharing all of this?
Why does anyone care about my big emotions, or what’s come up for me in the past?
Why am I unloading all of this here?
Because I too have had struggles with mental health. Because together when we share our stories we connect. When we are vulnerable we are brave. We choose to show others that we too have been through deep waters. We allow ourselves to open our hearts and share our wounds on a deep level. When we share the things inside of us that hurt so bad we allow connection to take place. WE see and hear that we are not alone. By showing our emotions we show we’re human. This is what connects us.
I didn’t share these details for empathy or sympathy. I shared these parts of me so you know your not alone on your journey. I care about your feelings and emotions. I care about how you get through them and I want you to know – your feelings are valid and understood.
A few months ago I attended an event put on by RYU (Respect Your Universe).
This was a night specifically related to ending the stigmas about mental health and how movement/ exercise can help.
During this event we listened to a panel of three men openly speak about their struggles with mental health and their strategies to help them through it.
As we sat in the audience watching, I couldn’t help but think how amazing it was that they were being so real, so authentic and so brave to be so open about their emotions.
My heart just felt this overwhelming sense of love and proudness for people who I didn’t even know.
It was so inspiring. It was something like I’d never seen before. Three men being vulnerable and open about their emotions- such a new experience to me.
On one hand I was so excited that I was in a room full of people who were there to talk about mental health, and on the other hand I was in awe of the men speaking their truth.
Full circle for me – a lot of my mental health struggles came from times where ultimately I allowed others to control my emotions. Guys in particular.
This is something that I carried with me for many years. I was under the impression that men don’t have feelings for the longest time.
So to sit in that room and watch this – really changed my perspective.
This showed me WE are all one.
WE all feel the same human emotions.
It doesn’t matter your gender. It doesn’t matter your age. It doesn’t matter the size of the struggle. All that matters is how we support one another to get through to the other side.
I’ll say it once and I’ll say it 10000000000 times.
FEELINGS ARE MEANT TO BE FELT.
We cannot heal anything until we fully feel it. It’s scary and sometimes it hurts to feel them BUT we don’t have to and shouldn’t do it alone.
Emotions are our roadmaps.
Our wounds become what we teach. And when we share our stories we hold space for one another to breathe again.
We spread more love.
I have big emotions.
I feel everything intensely.
I love with all of my heart.
I cry when I’m happy.
I cry when I’m sad.
I let myself hurt when I’m feeling hurt.
I pick myself back up when I’m ready.
I move through the motions with people I trust.
I feel what I’m meant to feel because that makes me me.
Go for a run.
Punch a punching bag.
Call a friend.
Go to yoga.
Cry for hours.
Listen to the song that hits ya in the feels.
Move your body.
Do a face mask.
Scream into a pillow.
Whatever you choose to do, don’t be afraid to feel because….
Together we can do this.
You are not alone.