There is absolutely no rule book for this.
There isn’t any script for what we are supposed to say, which means there isn’t anything we can read to know how we are meant to feel.
There is no dictionary or google search for this one.
Everyone is currently experiencing the same thing.
The same situation no matter where in the world they are.
Everyone you love.
Everyone you have loved.
They are all experiencing the exact same thing as you right now. It breaks my heart to even write those words… but it’s true. Somehow unity feels bitter sweet this time around.
Someone you once we’re in a relationship with.
Someone you grew up with.
You’re neighbour you use to play with down the street.
Someone who yelled at you.
Someone who gave you the finger pulling out of a parking lot.
The person you wish was with you right now.
The barista at your favourite coffee shop.
They are all experiencing this too.
This is a very scary and unsure time.
Its provoking thoughts and opinions of many that we just are sitting here trying to decide what is true, what isn’t and what it is we want to believe. What feels right to us.
Now, even though we are all experiencing the same shift in consciousness – the same shift in the entire world. We will all still show up differently. We will all still be different. We will express differently.
Although– still experiencing the same types of emotion.
I had a different blog post planned today.
I loved what I wrote – but then I started feeling scared and felt myself spiral into “how long will this last?” I started to think about my family and wondered when I would be able to hug them again. “When will I be able to fly home?” “When?”
The questions we are all wondering that no one seems to have any answers too. The process of doing laps around the anxiety pool in so much unknown murky waters gets more real daily.
We have no idea WTF is going on.
And it’s never been more clear than it is right now.
Life is crazy.
It always has been, but when its amplified like this- it feels so so so BIG.
It feels hard to feel the higher vibrations of life.
I don’t think this will come as a shock to anyone… but I am a very sensitive soul.
I have a big heart and I cry a lot.
I cry when I am happy, when I am sad. When I am worried, when I’m scared.
I feel everything. I feel for others, for the world, for the ones I love.
It’s not something I am willing to shut off.
It’s part of me.
I am an Empath.
I am here right now to hold this capacity of space.
Just like all of you reading this.
You are also here in this time for a reason, for some unknown crazy reason you are here right now. And it’s probably for a bigger reason than what you know.
With all of that being said, I am fully aware that my feelings will look differently on the outside to others.
Which is one of the reasons I wanted to write this blog.
I believe that no matter what you are feeling, whenever you are feeling it – it’s valid.
I believe this because it’s part of you.
You are not your emotions, no – that’s not what I am trying to say.
But your feelings are guides.
They tell you so much.
Whatever you are feeling – you are safe to feel it.
Yes- even when it makes you so uncomfortable you want to crawl out of your skin.
This is a time we are all being forced to literally go within.
Something that is naturally very uncomfortable.
It’s something we are normally WAY TO BUSY to ever even think to do.
But look at that… it’s been forced on us.
And when something is normally forced on us it’s because it’s for a BIGGER purpose than what we can often see in front of us. And also a wake up call to something we ignored long ago.
After the past few months/ year of a very up and down emotional roller coaster, I learned a few things that I felt relevant to share here now to help someone, anyone finding it hard to navigate and understand your emotions at this time. Theres no right or wrong. We are literally taking it day by day, step by step, one hour at a time.
1. Anger is actually a disguise for sadness
2. Anger is repressed emotion that never felt safe to express
3. Anger is a volcano of built up emotions
4. You have to feel to heal
5. You can’t outrun your emotions
6. Your capacity to feel/ heal yourself is the capacity you have to help others
7. Whatever is thrown your way- you better believe you can handle it
8. You were given the mountain to learn to climb and teach others the same thing
9. Even on your darkest days- light will shine
10. Light will always shine again
11. Being vulnerable isn’t as hard as we think it is
12. The thought of fear is often more scary than the actual fear it self
13. Life is one big test of time
14. Everyone you meet is your mirror
15. People can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves
16. When health is involved nothing else matters
17. Heartbreak cracks you open and invited you to meet yourself again
18. What we resist persists
19. Love is stronger than fear
20. Surrender is the name of the game
So through this time of change, transition and transformation for our world at large I invite you to do a few things. I invite you to meet yourself. For you to sit with the emotions that maybe, just maybe you have been running from. To take the time to heal them. To feel them… when you’re ready of course.
I invite you to do this not to cause you any pain, but so you can open your heart in brand new ways. Ways that the world really needs.
As you sit with yourself, you’ll meet new parts of you. You will understand why you do the things you do.
Above all you will start to learn empathy, compassion and what it means to truly live with a wide open heart.
Everything about this is messed up. There isn’t anything thats fair for any of us and what we are experiencing, or even what we are feeling.
There will be countless times that you feel fine and your best friend doesn’t.
Or you’ll feel happy and elated and filled with hope and you’ll turn on the news and maybe wish’d you wouldn’t have.
What I’m trying to say is this is going to be the roller coster known as our life.
All of our lives.
So let’s invite one another to fully be here. To accept and hold space for where each of us are on this journey and know that everyday it will change. Every day will look and feel differently… and that’s okay.
Let this pandemic change the way we relate to one another.
Let it open our hearts.
Let it show us that life is short and to send the text first.
To break down walls and boarders that keep us apart.
To feel what it feels like to hug and hold one another in times like this.
Let it show us how precious life really truly is.
Wherever you are, whoever you may be- please know that I am thinking about you today, and from now on every day.
If I have met you in this lifetime, if we have ever crossed paths. I think of you and hold you high up in my heart.
My wish is that one day soon we will meet again. We can hug. We can kiss. We can walk hand in hand.
No matter who you are, where you are- one thing is for sure.
Our souls are in this for the long haul.
We are in this together.
We got this.
one foot in front of the other – sending love and virtual hugs.