things to “normalize”…

Today I woke up mad and irritated with this system (MONDAY SEPT 21ST 2020). With the societal box we all live in. It feels like today I woke up. Like woke up to a world that has been like this for years and I had no idea. I had no idea because the box I was in kept me from seeing the truth. It was until this moment I have begun to realize that everything I knew and grew up learning- couldn’t be further from the truth. (some things that is…. maybe most things).

Today I was angry as I was running on the treadmill. All while having those mental notes and mind chatter saying, “you should be grateful. you are privileged. look at all you have.”

While I am so incredibly grateful for everything my parents did to get me here and what they had to do in order to help me live the life in which I have the privilege to even sit and write this right now. I am mad. I am angry. I’m pissed at society.

I am mad because we are being fed information that keeps us in boxes. Systemic boxes. This is being clearly shown globally right now. And it isn’t something we can or ever will un see moving forward.

The thing is, I feel the most upset and angry at those who are still holding onto such beliefs that we need to be divided and separated. I am asking myself every single day why? Why are there humans hurting other human beings. Why?

Many of us have been pondering this and our own beliefs and systems are being rocked on a daily basis. We are all being asked to question and go deeper than we ever have before. We are being called toward a big change, a revolution which requires shadow work.

If you are currently reading this and you have no idea WTF shadow work is….. buckle up.

As I have wondered these questions and contemplated how this is happening and why today of all days is it irritating me… I have come to this realization.

I am almost 30 years old. I quit my job in the middle of a pandemic. A safe, secure job making less than 40 grand a year. This is what I went to school for. This was it. That was my big life plan…. and essentially I came to the realization this isn’t it. Surely there was more to it than this.

I am almost 30 years old and I have been in one long term relationship my entire life. That was in high school. I have been a door mat, I have been scared to open the door to other guys in the face of fear of not being good enough, to fat and or being emotionally scared for life.

I live in Vancouver Canada. Where everyone says it is impossible to live a “comfortable” life. (I beg to differ when I see so much money surrounding me).

I am almost 30 years old. I went to college right out of high school. I still owe $5,000 in OSAP debt. I owed 10 grand in student LOC debt. I paid that off in 6 months working my ass off. I have a car payment. I still owe on my credit cards. I have been living pay check to pay check for almost 4 years. I have done what they have said I was suppose to do.

I have done it another way too.

I left home at 21 years old. I wanted to travel. I wanted to explore the world. They told me I wouldn’t have money and would need to give up “luxury”. They said “Courtney prepare to live off noodles and not have savings.” What they didn’t know is that when I decided to leap into the unknown and travel across the world and live on a tiny island in the Whitsundays of Australia… I made the most money and saved the most money I had ever in my life. I was 24, turning 25.

WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS? WHY AM I OUTING MYSELF?

I am telling you this because this is the stuff no one wants to talk about. No one wants to talk about the “taboo” subjects of life like sex, money and things that are considered “out there” to the “normal world”. But I am choosing to share because my point is that I figured out when I started to live from a place that felt good to me, when I started to take the big scary leaps and put myself first and shoved aside what society or others would think…. that is when I started to thrive. When I moved to that tiny island- that was against what everyone said I SHOULD do. That wasn’t what I was suppose to do. I should have been getting a better job. Buying a house and finding the love of my life.

My soul didn’t choose that life.

Which is why today, today I am angry that there are people out there STILL finding a reason to put societal expectations on others who DO NOT have a soul contract to live that life. They do NOT fit that box you are trying to put them in. They aren’t here to conform.

We are not here to conform. We are not here to be part of the system… we are here to change the system.

I feel this surge in my belly. A fire really. And I know that by me sharing these words some readers will be wildly uncomfortable. And to be honest… that says more about them than it does about me. If someone makes you uncomfortable because they are BEING themselves and doing things that suit them and not society…. if that makes you uncomfortable. It is time to do some shadow work my friends. It is time to look internally and get curious why that is.

I want to say this again…. as a disclaimer I shouldn’t have to say.

I am grateful. I am grateful that I have the privilege to write this today. I am grateful for all the opportunity I have been given to live the life I have previously and up to today. That I get to type on a computer that helps me. That I have food in my fridge and water to drink. I am grateful that I have had the opportunities to learn and unlearn constantly through experience. Through choosing to think differently. I am grateful….. for all that has got me here and everyone who has loved me through the transformations I constantly take. I am grateful… and I still want and expect more from society.

It is time to NORMALIZE the fact that being different is your birthright. That being the ones who live outside the box are courageous and bold. It is time to normalize a world of difference and embrace it fully. It is time to NORMALIZE our own timelines. Our own body types. Our own personalities. It is time to revolutionize the world as we know it. Instead of spreading fear and hate… it is time to look in the eyes of another and even when you can’t understand who they are or their decisions. It is time to listen. To sit. To think and to get curious about why that is.

It is time to NORMALIZE a world without boxes, borders, and labels that keep people separated.

Own your difference. It’s why you are here. You are here to be part of this.


Things to #NORMALIZE:

  • ALL body types
  • Different learners and learning strategies, in kids, adults, in everybody
  • Getting married at ANY age
  • Never having kids
  • Having kids at an age your body deems as right
  • Never getting married
  • Being single when your in your 30’s
  • Never having been in a relationship
  • Different skin colours
  • Different genders
  • Languages/ Accents
  • TRAUMA INFORMED WORKPLACES
  • Wellness in the workplace
  • Mental Health Days
  • Mental Health in the workplace
  • Mental Health in general
  • Remote working
  • WORK, LIFE, BALANCE
  • Liveable wages
  • Hair on the body
  • Having a butt ton of school debt
  • Never buying a house
  • Not having a car or license
  • Tattoos – its an art form
  • A SLOWER PACE WORK CULTURE
  • There being more to life than facts, science and logic
  • Having a woman president
  • Woman leaders
  • Men crying
  • Men talking about their feelings and emotions
  • HUMAN BEINGS BEING HUMAN BEINGS
  • People being themelves
  • Crying on social media
  • Crying in public places
  • Astrology being a science – had to 🙃

This list could go on forever. And I will admit we have come a long way already. I want to acknowledge that. We as a human race have come a long way… but we do have a lot longer to go. And each time you change your own life…. you help revolutionize the globe.

This is a message to you. Keep being yourself. We need you.


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